Daddy Duff

Background: For about ten years up in the Lady Pit I was a member of a team of six men. They were all great fellas and one of them Wullie Duff; he’d been married for quite a long time and he had a son of 12 and a daughter of 8. And then eight years later Wullie became a daddy once again. So I think you can understand the kind of kiddin that went on in the pit about this. So fhis wee poem was written just for a terr.

Daddy Duff

Dedicated in honour of one, William Duff, to whom the Lord, in His Benevolence,
hath granted the joy of fathering into this world a potential beltman.

Bewail! Bewail! impending loss
Ye pubs in Armadale
One thirsty thrapple less, shall cross
Thy portals to regale.
Bewail! Bewail! your profit’s lull
Thy revenue’s rebuff
The one ye knew as “Beery Wull”
Now know as “Daddy Duff.”

Rejoice! Rejoice! ye chemist shops
Where dummy-tits are sold
Becalm his nerve when in he pops
To purchase what he’s told
Enlist the aid of damsels fair
With mothercraft enough
lmpart advice on baby care
O! guide poor Daddy Duff

Unfold! Unfold! your “nappy” ware
Each baby-linen place
Display your best, – help choose with care
Ignore his blushing face
lnstruct his ‘prentice hand, the art
Of nappy’s cunning fold
Ensure he tucks the hanging part
Its contents safe to hold

Beware! Prepare! each local clerk
Of regimented names
He’ll ‘proach your door ere sounds the lark
Consolidating claims
Where once his theme was, “Aw fur booze”,
Usurps a new refrain
Augmenting pay with ev’ry ruse
“lt’s aw fur oor wee wean.”

Debate! Debate! in Parliament
On childbirths urgent need
Thy grave concern is wisely meant
Oust pain with all thy speed.
But wh ere? the voice in fathers’ cause
Up! voters, call their bluff.
Relief demand, relief thro’ laws
Remember Daddy Duff.

John Mallaghan